I have done a personal analysis of you and here is what I discovered:
You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worried and insecure on the inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You also pride yourself on being an independent thinker and do not accept others’ statements without satisfactory proof. But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary and reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.
Was that an accurate analysis? Did it describe you?
According to David McRaney, in his book, “You are not so smart: Why you have too many friends on Facebook, why your memory is mostly fiction, and 46 other ways you’re deluding yourself“, it describes everyone. He explains that the above statements come from a 1948 experiment by Bertram R. Forer. In this experiment he told the students that they had been individually assessed and then gave everyone the same analysis. The students rated the analysis as 85% correct even though the above analysis was just a collection of statements Forer pulled from horoscopes (Forer, 1949).
These findings support the idea that we are more similar than we are different. We are all almost genetically identical. It also suggests our efforts would be best used discovering the values we share with others and how we can work together on achieving those values, rather than finding reasons why and how we are different. These findings also make me wonder, as seen on quotes in Pinterest, Who are you really? In the essay below, Madison Kuhn offers some thoughts…
To me this says, with effort, we can become what we choose to work at becoming. These efforts also will help us forge a personally meaningful existence (see Meaningless Post). Will we be perfect and will that state be permanent? Perfect probably in spots, but not for long and certainly not permanent. We are always evolving into what we want to be. We must remember this is good because we are most satisfied when we feel like we are making progress toward internally generated goals that match our values. Progress is what we are after…This means as we do what helps us make progress, this is when we will be at our best. Our life then is our own personal pursuit of continuous and never ending improvement.
I define this as experiencing wellness. For me, wellness is progress – see discussion here and how it is not just the opposite of loneliness. I look forward to enjoying your company as we each get to where and who we work and desire to be. Many of these posts are stories of how to make this happen. I encourage you to explore past posts about urban gardeners and what others are doing and how their efforts benefits everyone and everything.